What Has Happened to Ordinary Human Interaction? I remember a time when strangers spoke to one another. In grocery lines, coffee shops, or wherever people happened to find themselves sharing a few minutes.

Conversations began over nothing in particular, often developed into something interesting, and usually involved a little laughter. Americans were once a remarkably sociable, optimistic people, even when times were difficult.

Something has changed

I find that attempts at ordinary conversation are increasingly met with reluctance, discomfort, and sometimes what looks remarkably like fear.

Young women, especially, seem conditioned to interpret an older man’s friendliness as a possible sexual advance. Some immediately mention a boyfriend, real or imagined, as though I were attempting to seduce them.

Men are not predators

What makes them think a man of my vintage would necessarily have any romantic interest in someone he regards as practically a child?

I might simply enjoy human interaction, offer a little unsolicited advice, or compliment someone on a job well done. After all, most of us began our working lives in menial jobs.

Respect the young

There’s something familiar, even endearing, about watching someone just starting out. Some clearly hate their jobs, and having been there ourselves, a little encouragement seems warranted.

A kind word, some recognition of their efforts, perhaps a little advice from experience. But increasingly, they don’t seem interested in hearing any of it.

Avoid Women

Apparently, even recognizing competence can be misconstrued. And heaven forbid one should compliment a young woman’s appearance.

Young men are generally more approachable, and some are genuinely impressive conversationalists. Older people, having lived in a world where strangers routinely spoke, also tend to reciprocate.

Men the usual suspects

But somewhere between these generations, ordinary sociability seems to have become suspect.

Is this what young people are being taught? That an unfamiliar older man, particularly a white man, represents a potential threat?

Fear of men

The nonverbal reactions sometimes suggest something approaching fear of sexual assault. I wish that were an exaggeration.

Consequently, I increasingly restrict my interactions to the bare necessities. No conversation, no compliments, no spontaneous exchange.

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A world of strangers

Civility, empathy, good manners, thoughtfulness: What once greased the wheels of civilized society has largely disappeared. We occupy the same public spaces while behaving as though everyone around us were either invisible or potentially dangerous.

When did ordinary human interaction become something to fear? Stephan Provost-Richter

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