Spiritual Healthcare. Stop being a free dumping ground for other people’s emotions. For a long time, I told myself it was empathy.

That absorbing other people’s drama was proof of how kind and caring I was.

That’s simply not true. It has nothing to do with empathy. It’s just people offloading their emotional mess onto you.

What does it look like in practice?

Someone feels overwhelmed, uncomfortable, tense. Instead of dealing with it, they look for someone to unload on. They find you.

They come in, pour out all their frustration, negativity, and complaints, and then leave. Often without even checking in on you. They just walk away, leaving you to sit with everything they dropped into your space.

And what do you do?

You stay and clean it up. You analyse, you worry, you try to fix it. You come back with solutions, only to hear, ‘Oh, I’m fine now. I just needed to get it off my chest.’

Of course, they feel better

They’ve just handed it all to you. But here’s the hard truth: you’re not helping them. You’re reinforcing the pattern. As long as they have you to unload onto, they don’t have to take responsibility or change anything.

You become the place where they drop their problems and walk away unchanged. And what do you get in return? A small ‘thank you,’ while you’re left feeling drained and depleted.

So, what do you do when it happens again?

The moment you feel it starting, don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed. Interrupt it early.

‘Hey, I can see you’re going through something, but I don’t have the space to take this on right now.’

Check their intention.

‘Do you want to talk about this to actually find a way forward, or do you just need to vent? Because if it’s just venting, I’m not available for that.’

Set a clear boundary.

‘I have five minutes. If we can’t focus on what you’re going to do about it, I’ll need to step away.’

Then watch how they respond. Someone who respects you will understand. Someone who just needed a place to unload will likely react negatively. And that tells you everything you need to know.

Why give your time and energy to carrying what isn’t yours?

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Your mind is your space

Protect it. Be intentional about who and what you allow in.

Start investing your energy in yourself, not in absorbing what others refuse to face

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