HEALTH IS YOUR WEALTH. I told my son to ‘man up’ and stop making excuses. I didn’t realise I was shouting at a drowning man. I found his bed empty. The silence in his room became permanent.

My son, Leo, was twenty-three years old. To the outside world, and frankly, to me at the time, he looked like a failure.

I’m a simple guy. I grew up in a time when sweat equity meant something. I bought my first house at twenty-four working at a local manufacturing plant.

I drove a beat-up truck, fixed it myself, and never complained. That was the Western way. You work hard, you get the white picket fence. Simple math.  So, when I looked at Leo, I didn’t see a struggle. I saw idleness.

He had a college degree that was gathering dust. He spent his days glued to his phone, delivering food for one of those gig-economy apps, and sleeping until noon.

He lived in my basement. He wore the same oversized hoodie every day. He had a look in his eyes that I interpreted as boredom.

I was constantly on his case. ‘The world doesn’t owe you a living, Leo,’ I’d say, slamming my coffee mug down. ‘Get a real job. Build some character.’

The Tuesday that changed my life started like any other. I came home from the shop, grease on my hands, feeling the good ache of a hard day’s work.

Leo was in the kitchen, staring at a bowl of cereal. It was 6:00 PM. ‘You just waking up?’ I asked, the irritation rising in my chest like bile.

‘No, Dad,’ he said softly. ‘Just got back. I did a few deliveries.’

‘Deliveries,’ I sneered. ‘That’s not a career, that’s a hobby. When I was your age, I had a mortgage and a baby on the way. You can’t even pay for your own gas.’

He put the spoon down. He looked pale, thinner than I remembered.

‘The market is tough right now, Dad. Nobody is hiring entry-level without three years of experience. And the rent… a studio is two thousand a month. I can’t make the math work.’

‘The math works if you work,’ I snapped. ‘Stop blaming the economy. Stop blaming ‘the system.’ It’s about grit. You think it was easy for me in the 90s? We didn’t have safe spaces. We just got it done.’

Leo looked up at me. His eyes were heavy. Not sleepy, heavy. Like they were holding up the ceiling. ‘I’m trying, Dad. I really am. But I’m just… so tired.’

I rolled my eyes. I actually rolled my eyes.

‘Tired? From what? Sitting in a car? Playing on your phone? I’ve been on my feet for ten hours. I am tired. You’re just unmotivated.

You have everything handed to you: electricity, food, a roof. Yet, you act like you’re carrying the weight of the world.’

The kitchen went quiet. The refrigerator hummed. The news played softly in the background, talking about inflation rates, but I wasn’t listening. I was waiting for him to argue, to fight back, to show some spark.

Instead, he just nodded.

‘You’re right,’ he whispered. ‘I’m sorry, I’m not who you were at my age. I’m sorry the math doesn’t work for me.’

He stood up, walked over to me, and did something he hadn’t done since he was ten. He hugged me. It wasn’t a strong hug; it was a lean, a collapse of weight against my shoulder.

‘I won’t be a burden anymore, Dad. I promise. Get some sleep.’

I stood there, feeling vindicated. Finally, I thought. Finally, I got through to him. Tough love. That’s what this generation needs.

I went to bed feeling like a good father.

The next morning, the house was silent. Too silent.

I woke up at 6:30 AM, ready to wake him up early. We were going to look for ‘real’ jobs today. I was going to drive him to the industrial park myself.

‘Leo! Up and at ’em!’ I shouted, banging on the basement door. No answer.

I pushed the door open.

The room was spotless. The piles of laundry were gone. The blinds were open. The bed was made, military tight. And on the pillow, there was his phone and a folded piece of notebook paper.

A cold shiver, sharper than any winter wind, shot down my spine.

‘Leo?’

I checked the bathroom. Empty. The backyard. Empty. The garage.

My old pickup truck was gone.

I ran back to the room and grabbed the note. My hands were shaking so hard I almost ripped the paper.

Dad,

I know you think I’m lazy. I know you think I’m weak. I wanted to be the man you are. I really did.

But the mountain you climbed doesn’t have a path anymore. I’ve applied to 400 jobs this year.

I didn’t tell you because I was ashamed. I drove for that delivery app for 14 hours a day. It was just to pay the interest on my student loans. I didn’t even touch the principal.

You told me to save. I tried. Rent is double what you paid. Wages are half of what they should be. Saving feels like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in the bottom.

I stopped taking my medication three weeks ago. My insurance cut out, and I didn’t want to ask you for money again. That’s why I was ‘tired.’ My brain has been screaming at me, and I didn’t have the volume knob to turn it down.

You were right. The world is for the strong. And I don’t have any fight left.

I’m taking the truck to the old bridge. I’m sorry. You won’t have to pay my bills anymore.

Love, Leo.

The scream that tore out of my throat didn’t sound human. It sounded like an animal caught in a trap. I dialled 911. I drove to the bridge. I drove so fast the world blurred into grey streaks.

I saw the flashing lights before I saw the river.

I saw the tow truck. I saw my pickup, the one I boasted about fixing, being hauled up from the water, dripping mud and weeds.

I collapsed on the asphalt. The officer who helped me up was a guy about my age. He didn’t say, ‘It’s going to be okay.’ He just held me while I shattered.

It’s been six months.

People tell me, ‘It wasn’t your fault, Jack. Depression is a silent killer.’

And they are right. It is a disease. But I can’t stop looking at the math.

I looked at his phone records later. He wasn’t lying. He had applied to hundreds of jobs.

He was rejected by automated emails. He was working while I slept. He was fighting a war I couldn’t see. I was too busy looking at the past through rose-colored glasses.

I measured his success with a ruler from 1990. I used the ruler to beat him when he didn’t meet up to it.

We tell our kids, ‘When I was your age, I had a house and a car.’

We forget to mention that a house cost two years’ salary then, not twenty. We forget that we had pensions, not gig contracts. We forget that we had hope.

Leo didn’t need a lecture on grit. He needed a dad who understood that ‘I’m tired’ didn’t mean ‘I need sleep.’ It meant ‘I’m running out of reasons to stay.’

I visit his grave every Sunday. I tell him about the truck. I tell him I’m sorry.

But he can’t hear me.

The world is full of Leos right now. Young men and women are working harder than we ever did. They receive half the reward. They carry the weight of a broken economy and a digital isolation we can’t comprehend.

If your child tells you, they are tired… if they seem stuck… if they are struggling to launch in a world that has clipped their wings. Please. Put down your judgment. Throw away your ‘back in my day’ stories.

Don’t tell them to man up. Tell them you are there. Tell them their worth isn’t in their paycheck or their property.

I would give everything I own. This includes my house, my pension, and my pride. I just want to see my son sleeping ‘lazily’ on that couch one more time.

A ‘perfect’ dead son is a trophy of nothing but regret. Listen to the silence before it becomes eternal.

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