Not all great musicians were promiscuous of course. In their defense it must be remembered they lived in times when the constant banging of headboards among all the classes was commonplace.

When it comes to promiscuity our generation isn’t a bad one by comparison and for the large part we keep a civil tongue in our trousers. It might also remind us that orchestral music was created by the world’s most exciting, interesting and gifted geniuses. Their prodigious compositions still enthral us today.

The music of the great classical musicians of Europe sells dramas, services and products on radio and television with remarkable effect. Who can forget the hits that accompanied The Onedin Line, movies like 2001: A Space Odyssey? Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean’s Ice-Skating Extravaganza. Advertisements like Heineken, Hamlet Cigars, Hovis, Kleenex, Nescafe, Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut . . . .  Music lifts movies to new heights, such musical drama is contemporary classical. Often the film music makes more money than does the box office.

Good music binds nationalities and cultures together yet anthems glorify the uniqueness of nations. As babies we slip into sleep to the airs of Brahms’s Lullaby and at the other end of life, we slip our mortal coil to a Mozartian requiem. In between we marry to the music of Felix Mendelssohn or Wagner. We dance to it, it lifts our spirits, it breaks our hearts; it mellows us. It inspires us, and we even fight for it:

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Music can be so evocative that it is frequently banned, even today, by the government. Music follows us everywhere and when it doesn’t, we seek it out. We whistle and sing it; we talk about it and we collect it like it is going out of fashion. Yet it never does. It never will.

So, if a musician asks you for a date remember you could not only be heading for bedroom Olympics; you may not be the only one to be led a merry dance. It really is Pied Piper stuff – and you are its children. Stuffy, boring classical musicians and their music? Wake up, and smell the coffee.

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